I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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