STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize