you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
