She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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