I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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