yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
