No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
