well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
