Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
