try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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