my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
The ass gains better be worth it
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