So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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