I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
