Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
