xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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