singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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