Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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