That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
