I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize