So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
