We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
