great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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