It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
