I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
