oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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