Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
