Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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