Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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