There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
