Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
