Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
