i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex on a roof
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a beard to bite.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize