i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
