I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
