But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
