Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize