bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
