none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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