Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
