guys are only as good as the porn they watch
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
