There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
