69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
