Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
worst night to have a conscience
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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