i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
