Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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