My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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