Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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