Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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