They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
