im having a threesome with these popsicles
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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