Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
