her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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