Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
