I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
