He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
