i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
