Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
