She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
