Can Purell be used as lube?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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