i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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